• what i actually said:

    i forgot

  • what my parents heard:

    i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.

(Source: blairwaldorfings, via smilesforzeeyum)

Being married someday is going to be so cool. like you get to come home to your best friend every single day and just do life together.
unknown (via amortizing)

(via smilesforzeeyum)

tyleroakley:

image

(Source: iraffiruse, via smilesforzeeyum)

mrandacious:

earningmyimaginears:

notsoplainbutinsanejane:

I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS THE LAST TIME I’LL MAKE THIS STUPID JOKE

OH MY GOD

Always reblog

(via odins-one-eyed-fuck)

Wantttt

Wantttt

(Source: ifuckingloveminerals, via vvars)

foxnewsofficial:

cumomelet:

a riddle:

a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?

omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that

(via odins-one-eyed-fuck)

darkminho:

Checking your phone in the middle of the night

image

(Source: gaynewt, via totally-relatable)

(Source: iraffiruse, via lifeofamooseboy)

(Source: foodvacuum, via mywaytoburn)

omgplants:

b-n-s-i:

雪柳

Tiny bonsai like this is literal plant magic. I swear.

omgplants:

b-n-s-i:

雪柳

Tiny bonsai like this is literal plant magic. I swear.

(via soir0nic)

// FACT: When hungry, lesbians do actually eat carpets. Preferably wool, seeing as synthetic fibres taste kinda weird.//

factsaboutqueers:

 For snacks, they much on rugs - Persian are their favourites, again because of the higher quality.